Your shopping cart is empty.

The Beginner’s Buying Guide to Strap Ons & Harnesses


One of the best things about playing with others is that you can expand your horizons, get closer to your partner, and try new things. There are so many ways to kick your sex life into overdrive, and toys are a great way to start. As you experiment, you may discover you’re ready for something more adventurous. If you’re thinking about exploring role playing, a strap on may be just what you’re looking for.

See more Strap On & Harness Guides

What is a Strap On?

A strap on refers to a toy such as a vibrator or dildo that’s worn by women and sometimes by men. Many strap ons have a harness that holds the dildo in place, but there is also a strapless strap on style.

Strap on harnesses come in a few different materials, and dildos and vibrators can come in many different materials as well. The strap on has become an addictive toy that can bring your partner to their knees with pleasure.

Who Can Use Strap Ons?

One great thing about strap ons is that they are fun for women and men, and in very different ways. Women can wear a strap on to take on a different role in the bedroom by wielding something phallic. Bring pleasure to your partner, male or female. Men will find that being on the receiving end of what his lady delivers has the potential to hit the P-spot and create a more intense orgasm. Women on the receiving end can enjoy the feeling of being filled up by a delicious dildo or vibrator.

Men can wear strap ons, too! If you’re someone who can’t hold an erection for long periods of time, wearing a strap on can allow you to really give it to your lover until she climaxes. You may also want it to offer her a different size and shape than what she’s used to.

Types of Strap On Sex Toys

You can find a pretty wide selection of strap on toys. Simply do a quick search and you’ll find more than you probably expected.

Strap On Harnesses

Tantus Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit with 2 Silicone Dildos

There are two main classes of strap ons: harnessed and strapless. Harnessed strap ons are as described. There is a harness that attaches at multiple locations for a secure fit, and the dildo or vibrator fits between the harness and an O-ring that holds the dildo in place. The harness can come in leather or in a synthetic material that’s easy to clean. Before buying a harness, you should check the length of the straps to ensure a good fit. Additionally, you’ll want to make sure any of your favorite dildos you already own will fit through the O-ring. Alternatively, you can look for harness models that allow you to change out the O-ring for different sizes.

We recommend: Tantus Bend Over Beginner Harness Kit with 2 Silicone Dildos



Strapless Strap Ons

Tantus Realdoe Slim Wireless 5 Inch Strap On Double Dildo Vibrator

We’ve touched on it earlier, but the other main category of strap ons can only be worn by women. The strap on is shaped in such a way that one end is inserted and held inside the vagina of the wearer, and the other end is the dildo for you to wield and punish your lover with—no harness required. The wearer gets to get in on the fun, unlike with a harness. Her end nestles right against the G-spot, promising good feelings for both parties. They really are a blast, but there’s a catch. The woman’s kegel muscles need to be strong enough to hold the strap on in place. You may need to invest in a pair of ben wa balls and start practicing. In addition, if you’re a first-time investor, try to find a toy with a larger saddle—it’s actually a little easier to hold on to. The benefit is that it’s much more intimate than a harness, as you can get physically closer to your partner without impediments. It’s also fun to note that this style of strap on looks somewhat “natural”, as the dildo appears to be connected to her body.

We recommend: Tantus Realdoe Slim Wireless 5 Inch Strap On Double Dildo Vibrator



Strap On Dildos

Topco Wildfire Real Man Cyberskin 8 Inch Realistic Cock

This isn’t so much a type of strap on as much as it is an integral part of the toy that comes in a variety of forms. A dildo is a phallic shaped object that’s used to penetrate and bring pleasure. Dildos have been used for thousands of years of human history, and we’ve come up with some creative ways to use them. Some dildos are relatively formless, while others are designed to be as close to the real thing as possible. Not all dildos are appropriate for every harness. For one, you’ll need to make sure the size is compatible with the harness ring—compare the diameter of the dildo to the internal diameter of the ring. The dildo will also need to be flared at the base so it can stay in place while you move about.

We recommend: Topco Wildfire Real Man Cyberskin 8 Inch Realistic Cock



Vibrating Strap Ons

Real Skins 7 Inch Vibrating Strap On Suction Dildo and Harness

Some dildos are created extra-special. A very smart inventor came up with the idea of attaching a motor to a dildo, which send vibrations rocketing through your body. Because all things are possible, there are vibrator strap ons. The recipient isn’t the only one who gets to benefit, though. The wearer feels the good vibrations as well, making it tons of fun for everyone!

We recommend: Real Skins 7 Inch Vibrating Strap On Suction Dildo and Harness



Hollow Strap Ons

Fetish Fantasy Elite 8 Inch Hollow Vibrating Strap On

If you thought strap ons were just for women, think again! Men can actually wear them too. Hollow strap ons exists so that men can share a larger experience with their lover. Some men also like to use strap ons to give their partner and longer, harder, sexual experience. These strap ons can accommodate a flaccid penis, and the toy can really create a nice change of scenery with making anyone jealous.

We recommend: Fetish Fantasy Elite 8 Inch Hollow Vibrating Strap On



Vac-U-Lock Strap Ons

Vac-U-Lock Ultra Harness 2 with 8 Inch UR3 Cock

Created and designed by Doc Johnson, Vac-U-Lock strap ons are great for beginner and advanced users alike. A Vac-U-Lock harness features a snap-on plug, onto which you may slide your dildo of choice. There are numerous Vac-U-Lock dildos to choose from - no need to worry about O-rings, suction cups, or flared bases.

We recommend: Vac-U-Lock Ultra Harness 2 with 8 Inch UR3 Cock



Strap On and Harness Materials

  • Metal – We’re not talking about a stainless steel dildo. Most strap on harnesses will have some metal components. There is usually an O-ring, which isn’t just a clever name. The O-ring is what holds the dildo or vibrator in place that, on more durable harnesses, is made of stainless steel.
  • Nylon Many harnesses are made from nylon, which can be comfortable if the harness is well designed.
  • Leather Leather is really sexy, and you may find that you have a particular thing for it. There are many harnesses out there that are made of leather, which promises to put you in the right mood.
  • Silicone While the actual harness is unlikely to be silicone, there are countless dildos and vibrators available that are made from the material. Silicone is non-porous and feels silky and realistic—perfect when you need a surrogate.
  • Jelly Some dildos and vibrators are made from the ubiquitous jelly material, which has a little bit of give and can be flexible.

Caring for Your Strap On

Take care of your toys if you want to keep playing with them. It’s that simple. When you’re done playing for the day, make sure you remove the toy from the harness and wash it carefully with soap and water. Alternatively, you could use an antibacterial toy cleaner that’s made specifically for sex toys. If you’re using a hollow strap on, you need to take care to clean and flush out the inside of the toy. Dry with a lint-free towel. Clean the harness itself with soap and water as necessary. However, if it’s leather, use a special leather cleaner instead.

Storage is another aspect to toy care. When you’re not using it, you’ll likely need a discreet place to hold it until you can’t resist playing again. Don’t just shove your toys in a sock drawer and call it a night. Store your toys individually and kept separate from one another. Different toy materials can react poorly with one another, leading to deformities and other failures.

Never use a toy anally and then use it vaginally—you can transfer bacteria this way. If you want to play in both areas, use a condom to keep things clean.

Choosing the Perfect Strap On

There are many different reasons to choose a strap on, but it can also be a little overwhelming choosing the right one. Here a few ways you can narrow down your search.

  • Style – As we’ve discussed, there are two main styles to choose from that will eliminate quite a few possibilities: harnessed and strapless. Strapless strap ons are a little tricky at first and may not be the best place to start for beginners. Harnesses can fit most people and allow you easy hands-free playtime with a partner or group.
  • Budget – Your budget is always something you should consider. Some strap ons are more expensive than others, and you should think about how much you’re willing to invest for a first-time toy.
  • Size – Check the dimensions of everything before you buy. The harness should give you a good idea of the size, which is adjustable. The other size factor to consider is the size of the dildo. If you’re relatively new to penetration, you may want to stick to smaller toys and work your way up. Some strap ons come as a kit and include multiple dildos for you to try. In addition, you’ll want to check the internal dimension of the O-ring. The O-ring is what hold the dildo in place, and if you want to include your own toys, you’ll need to make sure they will fit.  
  • Materials – There is only a little bit of choice when it comes to harness material, but there’s a big choice when it comes to dildo material. Consider if you want something sleek or if you’d rather have something realistic. Different materials will bring different titillating sensations with them.
  • Battery Power – If you are interested in a vibrator model, you may want to consider how powerful you want your vibrator to be. Look at the type and quantity of batteries the vibrator requires to tell how powerful it will be. Generally, larger batteries offer more power.
  • Fit – Size matters when it comes to strap ons, and fit is equally as important. Try on your harness before you do anything else and make sure it’s comfortable and easy to adjust.

How to Play with Your Strap On

If you think you’re ready to take the next step in playtime, here’s a little help.

For one thing, strap ons are a little different from other toys in that the wearer has control but can’t feel what it’s doing to your partner. Always communicate with your partner to make sure he or she is comfortable with the pace. Start slowly then pick up the pace as you work your lover into a frenzy.

If the receiver is unfamiliar with penetrative sex, then it’s really important to not only communicate but to go slowly. While thinking about a huge dildo may make you drool with desire, you’ll likely want to work up in size until you’re comfortable you can handle a little more. The wearer should listen for signals and read body language if your partner seems uncomfortable.

Lube. You need lots of it. You’ll definitely want to use plenty of water-based lubricant to ensure that everything goes smoothly. The last thing you want is a dry spot, which can be super uncomfortable. Even if you’re not engaging in anal play, it may be a good idea to invest in anal lube, which is thicker and lasts longer than the regular stuff. Avoid using oil based and silicone based lubes with silicone toys, as they can damage your silicone toys.

Speaking of lube, if you plan on back-door play, you’ll need more lube than you think, as the anus does not have a natural way to lubricate itself. Go slowly, don’t force anything to happen, and don’t be afraid to try again.

If you’ve never worn a strap on before, it can feel a little foreign at first. Before playing with a partner, try it on by yourself and move around with the dildo in place so you can get a feel for the weight and movement. And remember, things may be awkward when you first try, so keep a good sense of humor about everything. And practice makes perfect!

In short, strap ons are great for couples and groups looking to change things up a bit. Experiment with techniques and change out your toys and see what gets your lover going!